This past Saturday Nate and I attended an all day training/orientation meeting with our adoption agency. It was a super long day as we had to drive 4 hours amongst sitting in chairs all day. It was good to meet other families in our position and meet the people of the office too.
Many people have been asking if we are "waiting" yet. No. Still waiting on our background checks and fingerprints. According to the time frame that they've been seeing lately, it should be this week or next. At that point all of our paperwork can be reviewed and if we are approved, we'll be a waiting family. We have our profile book basically ready, but I don't want to have them printed until I know that our background checks and fingerprints are good (someone we know has had their fingerprints rejected twice...they didn't work for whatever reason!...so if we have to wait 6-8 more weeks pictures can be updated into the profile - especially because a baby is due in the family the end of July!)
My mentality through this all has been that I don't want this process held up because of something I could have been doing. In reality, depending on how long it takes our books to be printed, there could be a slight wait to have our books shown, but in the end of it all, we know that God is in control and everything will be shown and done in His time.
What does Jacob think about all of this? He said the other day...God will give us our baby, we just have to wait until He says it's time. He gets pretty excited when he sees babies out in public. He says that his baby is going to be "so cute!" Some times he refers to a sister, some times he refers to a brother - when I ask him what we should name our baby he usually says "baby Jacob or baby Jericho" (that's his cousins name) But when I tell him we can't use those names he doesn't really get it.
Nate and I are looking forward to purchasing some of the necessary baby items that we don't have. Not sure when we'll do that, but that will be exciting as we haven't purchased anything for this baby yet.
We'll continue to keep the blog updated, but know that we cannot and will not post everything about the adoption. There are things that are the child's story that the whole world doesn't need to know about like
-where was the baby born
-why did the birth mother choose adoption
-how old is the birth mother
-does she have any other children
...those are just a few, but answers to these questions could be difficult and it could skew your idea of the baby and have different expectations...we're sinners and we judge...we don't want you to have any pre-conceived thoughts about us or the baby. Ultimately, it's the child's story and it should be theirs to tell if they ever decide they want to share any of those details.
There are things we have to do because that's the way adoption works - even though it seems nontraditional or unfair - adoption is different and that's what we have to do. For example, attachment is huge and important and Nate and I need to form healthy attachments with our children. In order to do that no one else will be able to hold, change diapers, feed our child for a period of time. And some of you will not like that, but that's too bad for you. It's not because we're being stuck up or wanting to be hurtful to you, but our baby needs to learn our voices, smells, touch, heartbeats so they learn to feel safe with us - that they have a need and we are filling those needs. We need you to understand this now so that when baby does come home it's not a surprise. We understand you'll probably want to help in some way or another and there are ways you can do that while we care for the baby.
Thanks for understanding and following us on this journey of adoption!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Days of Summer
Summer is here and I think Jacob is a little confused as to why he isn't going to his "school" any more and why his daddy can't be home all the time too. It's been tricky to find our routine and our new normal. I don't think we've necessarily found it yet, but it may be getting a little easier. We have found ourselves at the pool quite a bit already - use it when we can is my motto. Yesterday, we used it twice! It was near 100 degrees, so we hit the pool right after lunch and then after supper after Nate was able to get some of the yard mowed. When we returned from the pool at night Nate had some more yard to mow and Jacob and I sat on the deck eating ice cream cones together! He loved it! He wanted one for a snack this morning already. Normally this boy does not do well with ice cream - like he eats one or two licks of it and is done. I knew not to put too much in his cone and it seemed like it was just enough.
I need to pull my camera out more as I have vivid memories in my head about Jacob mowing with his bubble mower behind his daddy last week - it was cute! He was so proud to be helping his daddy. He also has been a huge help in my garden and watering my flowers too.
He is truly "ALL BOY" as the saying goes - picking up sticks and hitting it on any and every thing. Last night after his cone was finished he was walking around the sidewalks "ruining" the ant hills and as he says it he sounds like he says he is "mooning" the ant hills! (However, pretty sure he doesn't know what that means) He tries to scale things...like the refrigerator, he grabs the handles and starts walking right up! He also likes to do that in bathrooms that have the handicap railing - I've tried to avoid those now too. His knowledge of loaders and diggers and scoops is beyond mine. He has a little mini gator that is his monster truck that breaks a tie rod or blows a tire and often puts a stick in the back for his flag. His imagination is great.
And as I write this I am reminded that he is completely potty trained and often likes to do it all by himself. That's great too, especially not having to deal with those swim diapers.
I can't believe that by the end of summer Jacob will be 3! Crazy!
Well, the temperature for today is already at 85 and expected to hit in the upper 90's again today. Personally, I love the hot temperatures! You'll find me at nap time sitting on the deck reading my book if I'm not napping as well. The difference between yesterday and today - about 25-35 mph winds. Yesterday there wasn't much wind at all.
Enjoy SUMMER! It's here, and by later in the week it'll hardly seem like it as we'll see highs in the 60's. For today, the plan is the pool and ice cream. We'll save the library for a rainy day.
I need to pull my camera out more as I have vivid memories in my head about Jacob mowing with his bubble mower behind his daddy last week - it was cute! He was so proud to be helping his daddy. He also has been a huge help in my garden and watering my flowers too.
He is truly "ALL BOY" as the saying goes - picking up sticks and hitting it on any and every thing. Last night after his cone was finished he was walking around the sidewalks "ruining" the ant hills and as he says it he sounds like he says he is "mooning" the ant hills! (However, pretty sure he doesn't know what that means) He tries to scale things...like the refrigerator, he grabs the handles and starts walking right up! He also likes to do that in bathrooms that have the handicap railing - I've tried to avoid those now too. His knowledge of loaders and diggers and scoops is beyond mine. He has a little mini gator that is his monster truck that breaks a tie rod or blows a tire and often puts a stick in the back for his flag. His imagination is great.
And as I write this I am reminded that he is completely potty trained and often likes to do it all by himself. That's great too, especially not having to deal with those swim diapers.
I can't believe that by the end of summer Jacob will be 3! Crazy!
Well, the temperature for today is already at 85 and expected to hit in the upper 90's again today. Personally, I love the hot temperatures! You'll find me at nap time sitting on the deck reading my book if I'm not napping as well. The difference between yesterday and today - about 25-35 mph winds. Yesterday there wasn't much wind at all.
Enjoy SUMMER! It's here, and by later in the week it'll hardly seem like it as we'll see highs in the 60's. For today, the plan is the pool and ice cream. We'll save the library for a rainy day.
Today is the Day
Jacob loves singing and listening to music! Not only does he enjoy singing songs he knows, but also making up songs! It's so fun to listen to what he comes up with. This is one of his all time favorite songs.
On Sunday before we left for church he found his little Bible and was pretending to sing from it. Here's one of his songs...
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
3rd visit FINISHED!
Tonight we had our final "home study" visit. It seems so crazy and it's becoming more real that we are adding to our family.
What does this mean? It means that our social worker will finish up the necessary paper work to approve us for adoption - we've spent over 10 hours basically sharing our life story. We are still waiting on a few documents before we can be approved - thankfully I was able to take care of one of those today - after spending more time on hold than actually talking to a person and thankfully I held myself together because I had requested this document on April 28 and was suppose to receive it in 7-10 days....well, giving them the benefit of the doubt and a month later still nothing...I was a little on edge. The gal on the phone was just what I needed...calm, gentle and kind...which helped me to chill out because it wasn't her fault the other dude told me it was taken care of. It also worked out perfectly that she could fax the document to Nate's work and thankfully it arrived before he was headed home for our meeting!
What needs to happen before we can be a waiting family for placement?
*all the necessary documents need to be to our social worker
*we need to take 2 online courses (not as intimidating as it sounds really)
*we will be attending an orientation training this Saturday (ALL DAY! It's going to be a long day of travel and meetings. We will be traveling with another couple so I'm thankful for that and I'm sure we'll have PLENTY to talk about!)
*we need $ to get to the next step, praying that God will provide (if you'd like to know more about how you can help, please call or email and we can give you the specifics)
*then we need to print out our profile book
We just finished a very crazy and busy May! With June just around the bend we face another full calendar. Adoption meeting, trip to South Dakota, Pizza Ranch summer meetings...and other stuff that's not at the forefront of my mind. I'm looking forward to spending a lot more time with Jacob and finding our new routine. This has been a little more difficult than I anticipated, but hope we find the groove soon.
Summer is here!
What does this mean? It means that our social worker will finish up the necessary paper work to approve us for adoption - we've spent over 10 hours basically sharing our life story. We are still waiting on a few documents before we can be approved - thankfully I was able to take care of one of those today - after spending more time on hold than actually talking to a person and thankfully I held myself together because I had requested this document on April 28 and was suppose to receive it in 7-10 days....well, giving them the benefit of the doubt and a month later still nothing...I was a little on edge. The gal on the phone was just what I needed...calm, gentle and kind...which helped me to chill out because it wasn't her fault the other dude told me it was taken care of. It also worked out perfectly that she could fax the document to Nate's work and thankfully it arrived before he was headed home for our meeting!
What needs to happen before we can be a waiting family for placement?
*all the necessary documents need to be to our social worker
*we need to take 2 online courses (not as intimidating as it sounds really)
*we will be attending an orientation training this Saturday (ALL DAY! It's going to be a long day of travel and meetings. We will be traveling with another couple so I'm thankful for that and I'm sure we'll have PLENTY to talk about!)
*we need $ to get to the next step, praying that God will provide (if you'd like to know more about how you can help, please call or email and we can give you the specifics)
*then we need to print out our profile book
We just finished a very crazy and busy May! With June just around the bend we face another full calendar. Adoption meeting, trip to South Dakota, Pizza Ranch summer meetings...and other stuff that's not at the forefront of my mind. I'm looking forward to spending a lot more time with Jacob and finding our new routine. This has been a little more difficult than I anticipated, but hope we find the groove soon.
Summer is here!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
recent happenings
Life the past couple weeks has been beyond crazy. Various activities, meetings, visits, school year ending, the added pressure of putting together the preschool graduation, the weather getting nicer. Over the past 2 days, I have taken 2 naps! Guilt-free! My body was exhausted and it was all I could do to make it through each day...typically a longer day as I was up later too. I'm very thankful for my job, the activities my family is involved in, but I'm glad this week is a little more calm. Thus, time for a blog update!
This boy is just so handsome! I love it. Nate and Jacob bought me some flowers and tools for my garden for Mother's Day! I love this picture, so adorable. We've had a lot of fun playing together on my less strict schedule this week so far. I have a TON of clean-up, but I refuse to clean up longer days than my normal work hours! It will get done, and if a week from now I'm not finished, then I may feel some added pressure. Yesterday we needed to run to Orange City b/c of cell phone issues (anyone in NW IA & AT&T would know what I mean) so I quick threw a lunch together for a picnic and Jacob and I enjoyed a picnic in the park and lots of playing too!
We are a solid month into our adoption process. What have we done? A lot of paperwork, fingerprints, 2 home study interview sessions and working on our profile book (it's essentially finished). As we were working on our profile book we wanted to show some of our favorite family things so we did stage a few shots!....one of them being fires in the backyard...(we did have to take advantage of the perfect evening for a fire anyway!)
...and Sunday morning cinnamon rolls. A tradition we started when we got married. (Normally, one, two or three of us are in our pajamas still while eating them...)
This past weekend was Tulip Festival in Orange City. I had a college friend and her daughter come stay with us, we had a lot of fun! Jacob and her daughter were so fun to watch and listen to.
Jacob wanted to find yellow (his favorite color) tulips to sit by...this made it a little more difficult to get a picture, but so cute how he wanted to look at the tulips while he sat!
There's a little pose
We tried out a few rides, including the big slide! We climbed up the quite narrow stairs, get to the top and Jacob says, I DON'T WANT TO GO DOWN THAT SLIDE. Too bad buddy....we're going! By the time we were at the bottom he wanted to go again! Some times kids just needs a little nudge to find out they like something.
Then we went another day with dad! Still a little uncertain, but overall liked it! I like how his hands are grasping Nate's shorts here.
So now that the major active parts of the adoption process are becoming checked off and school is finished a lot of stress has left, hooray! We have a couple of meetings/classes we need to do that will be time consuming as well, but seemingly manageable as well. The summer will provide a nice time frame to work on grant applications. We hope to be "waiting" by the end of June - providing all paperwork/background checks/fingerprints etc. come in on time. We don't foresee any reason why it wouldn't, but of course, if we could foresee, then we'd know about it and change it now!
This is so different this time around, perhaps because we've done this before, yet it seems strange. Some things have stayed the same, others have not. We know this is all in God's timing and we trust that His plan is perfect. It's scary, for sure. It's hard not knowing when a baby will enter our lives - and there are certainly times that we are so tired by Jacob's bedtime that we think, how are we going to do this with a baby?! I'm guessing we'll be in bed a lot earlier! ha!
Thanks for checking in! We have our last home study interview next week, plus a huge orientation day.
*Prayer Requests*
-decisions we need to make along the adoption process
-that our profile book may truly reflect who we are as a family
-travel next week as well as smooth visits/meetings
-adjustments in our life (jobs, no childcare for summer)
-families who have been waiting for a long time for placement
-storm victims
This boy is just so handsome! I love it. Nate and Jacob bought me some flowers and tools for my garden for Mother's Day! I love this picture, so adorable. We've had a lot of fun playing together on my less strict schedule this week so far. I have a TON of clean-up, but I refuse to clean up longer days than my normal work hours! It will get done, and if a week from now I'm not finished, then I may feel some added pressure. Yesterday we needed to run to Orange City b/c of cell phone issues (anyone in NW IA & AT&T would know what I mean) so I quick threw a lunch together for a picnic and Jacob and I enjoyed a picnic in the park and lots of playing too!
We are a solid month into our adoption process. What have we done? A lot of paperwork, fingerprints, 2 home study interview sessions and working on our profile book (it's essentially finished). As we were working on our profile book we wanted to show some of our favorite family things so we did stage a few shots!....one of them being fires in the backyard...(we did have to take advantage of the perfect evening for a fire anyway!)
...and Sunday morning cinnamon rolls. A tradition we started when we got married. (Normally, one, two or three of us are in our pajamas still while eating them...)
This past weekend was Tulip Festival in Orange City. I had a college friend and her daughter come stay with us, we had a lot of fun! Jacob and her daughter were so fun to watch and listen to.
Jacob wanted to find yellow (his favorite color) tulips to sit by...this made it a little more difficult to get a picture, but so cute how he wanted to look at the tulips while he sat!
There's a little pose
We tried out a few rides, including the big slide! We climbed up the quite narrow stairs, get to the top and Jacob says, I DON'T WANT TO GO DOWN THAT SLIDE. Too bad buddy....we're going! By the time we were at the bottom he wanted to go again! Some times kids just needs a little nudge to find out they like something.
Then we went another day with dad! Still a little uncertain, but overall liked it! I like how his hands are grasping Nate's shorts here.
So now that the major active parts of the adoption process are becoming checked off and school is finished a lot of stress has left, hooray! We have a couple of meetings/classes we need to do that will be time consuming as well, but seemingly manageable as well. The summer will provide a nice time frame to work on grant applications. We hope to be "waiting" by the end of June - providing all paperwork/background checks/fingerprints etc. come in on time. We don't foresee any reason why it wouldn't, but of course, if we could foresee, then we'd know about it and change it now!
This is so different this time around, perhaps because we've done this before, yet it seems strange. Some things have stayed the same, others have not. We know this is all in God's timing and we trust that His plan is perfect. It's scary, for sure. It's hard not knowing when a baby will enter our lives - and there are certainly times that we are so tired by Jacob's bedtime that we think, how are we going to do this with a baby?! I'm guessing we'll be in bed a lot earlier! ha!
Thanks for checking in! We have our last home study interview next week, plus a huge orientation day.
*Prayer Requests*
-decisions we need to make along the adoption process
-that our profile book may truly reflect who we are as a family
-travel next week as well as smooth visits/meetings
-adjustments in our life (jobs, no childcare for summer)
-families who have been waiting for a long time for placement
-storm victims
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
THE NEWS!
Our dear family & friends,
What a fine day we are having in Northwest Iowa. Bright blue sky, light breeze, with the sun beating down at a balmy 72 degrees. This surely is the day the Lord has made. What do you do when you have the afternoon off, yet work to do and want to be outside? That's right, take the work outside and kill two birds with one stone. That's what I'm doing. Jacob is snoozing away and I have shop set up outside...fabulous!
In the last month the Lord has placed something very important in our hearts. A call that we cannot ignore. We feel that the Lord is calling us to adopt another one of His precious children. We have since taken action. Over the past 4 weeks we have been diligently filling out paperwork, attending meetings, appointments and keeping this a secret! The blog will be updated soon (next couple days or week, life is busy with school ending this week for me and a friend coming to visit for a couple days). I have been writing on the blog about this journey, however, I have not posted the writings. I encourage you to read the blog to get up to date and stay up to date. For various reasons we cannot and will not post all information about our adoption. We will need to keep some things to ourselves. If you ever have questions, we want you to ask, and if it's something we cannot share with you, we won't!
I'll try to answer a few commonly asked questions first:
1. Can you take shortcuts with paperwork because you've done this before? No! All paperwork expires after a year and we are using a different agency - New Horizons Adoption Agency. They are located in MN but have a social worker who lives not far from us. We will not need to go to the office frequently - phew - it's a 2 1/2 hr drive.
2. What stage are you in? We are in the home study phase...3 total visits and we have visit number 2 tonight.
3. Are you approved/when will you? We are not technically approved yet...at the end of the home study they will evaluate all of our paperwork, background checks, medical, employment, and financial status....we don't anticipate any of this holding things up, but you never know.
3. Are you specifying gender/race...etc? No, not yet anyway.
4. Is the cost of adoption less than before? No! It's increased. We're frightened by that aspect, but at the same time, we know that God called us to this purpose and He will provide for us...how? Through generous gifts of others. He did it with Jacob's adoption and don't doubt he can't do it with this child.
4. Where will the baby come from? It's loving mother! We don't know what state, etc.
5. Time frame? 3 mo-3 years-ish. It could be shorter and it could be longer! God knows and we pray we are ready for when that time comes.
So without further ado...bring on child #2! Jacob is very thrilled to be a big brother. I'm sure it will be a little bit of shock when baby arrives, but we think he'll do fine. And according to the subject...we are ready to play man to man defense...we hope! That part frightens us as well, lots of teamwork and getting to bed on time and prayer, right?!
We hope this finds you well and ready to take on a new member of our family. We appreciate your prayers along the journey and please don't be shy or feel like you're stepping on toes with questions.
Nate, Mary Beth & Jacob
...so now if you scroll down to "I will move ahead" you can read from the beginning. Wow, this has been confusing publishing posts later...Hope it all makes sense to you as you read. There are some dates in there to give you an idea...
What a fine day we are having in Northwest Iowa. Bright blue sky, light breeze, with the sun beating down at a balmy 72 degrees. This surely is the day the Lord has made. What do you do when you have the afternoon off, yet work to do and want to be outside? That's right, take the work outside and kill two birds with one stone. That's what I'm doing. Jacob is snoozing away and I have shop set up outside...fabulous!
In the last month the Lord has placed something very important in our hearts. A call that we cannot ignore. We feel that the Lord is calling us to adopt another one of His precious children. We have since taken action. Over the past 4 weeks we have been diligently filling out paperwork, attending meetings, appointments and keeping this a secret! The blog will be updated soon (next couple days or week, life is busy with school ending this week for me and a friend coming to visit for a couple days). I have been writing on the blog about this journey, however, I have not posted the writings. I encourage you to read the blog to get up to date and stay up to date. For various reasons we cannot and will not post all information about our adoption. We will need to keep some things to ourselves. If you ever have questions, we want you to ask, and if it's something we cannot share with you, we won't!
I'll try to answer a few commonly asked questions first:
1. Can you take shortcuts with paperwork because you've done this before? No! All paperwork expires after a year and we are using a different agency - New Horizons Adoption Agency. They are located in MN but have a social worker who lives not far from us. We will not need to go to the office frequently - phew - it's a 2 1/2 hr drive.
2. What stage are you in? We are in the home study phase...3 total visits and we have visit number 2 tonight.
3. Are you approved/when will you? We are not technically approved yet...at the end of the home study they will evaluate all of our paperwork, background checks, medical, employment, and financial status....we don't anticipate any of this holding things up, but you never know.
3. Are you specifying gender/race...etc? No, not yet anyway.
4. Is the cost of adoption less than before? No! It's increased. We're frightened by that aspect, but at the same time, we know that God called us to this purpose and He will provide for us...how? Through generous gifts of others. He did it with Jacob's adoption and don't doubt he can't do it with this child.
4. Where will the baby come from? It's loving mother! We don't know what state, etc.
5. Time frame? 3 mo-3 years-ish. It could be shorter and it could be longer! God knows and we pray we are ready for when that time comes.
So without further ado...bring on child #2! Jacob is very thrilled to be a big brother. I'm sure it will be a little bit of shock when baby arrives, but we think he'll do fine. And according to the subject...we are ready to play man to man defense...we hope! That part frightens us as well, lots of teamwork and getting to bed on time and prayer, right?!
We hope this finds you well and ready to take on a new member of our family. We appreciate your prayers along the journey and please don't be shy or feel like you're stepping on toes with questions.
Nate, Mary Beth & Jacob
...so now if you scroll down to "I will move ahead" you can read from the beginning. Wow, this has been confusing publishing posts later...Hope it all makes sense to you as you read. There are some dates in there to give you an idea...
Date Night
After a week of meetings and work every night this past week and not seeing each other very much we decided that we needed a date night on Friday. After a look into the budget envelopes and seeing very little (end of the month) we knew it would have to be cheap! Jacob was super sad he couldn't go on date night too, but he loves his babysitter, and knew he would have fun. We headed to Sioux Center for some good ole Culvers and thoroughly enjoyed taking our time eating our hot meal and having good conversation.
After our dinner we headed to a local coffee shop to work on typing some things for our application. It was a relaxing environment on a rainy, windy evening. I was able to enjoy a carmel mocha as well! Soothing. We were able to finish our work and enjoy a game of Sorry! No matter how that game starts or how many times one person gets "sorried" the game always comes down to the wire! It was fun and we enjoyed it.
Here we sit on Sunday night waiting for just a few pieces of information for our application. We're hoping to get the main piece tomorrow or Tuesday and get the packet mailed off. We have to wait for medical physicals and a letter from our health insurance. We're hoping to start the home study process soon - a couple weeks? Not sure really.
It was great to get out, enjoy a pleasant evening together and accomplish work at the same time. We're looking forward to some calmer winds this week and sunshine!
After our dinner we headed to a local coffee shop to work on typing some things for our application. It was a relaxing environment on a rainy, windy evening. I was able to enjoy a carmel mocha as well! Soothing. We were able to finish our work and enjoy a game of Sorry! No matter how that game starts or how many times one person gets "sorried" the game always comes down to the wire! It was fun and we enjoyed it.
Here we sit on Sunday night waiting for just a few pieces of information for our application. We're hoping to get the main piece tomorrow or Tuesday and get the packet mailed off. We have to wait for medical physicals and a letter from our health insurance. We're hoping to start the home study process soon - a couple weeks? Not sure really.
It was great to get out, enjoy a pleasant evening together and accomplish work at the same time. We're looking forward to some calmer winds this week and sunshine!
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